Thursday, May 19, 2011

Deadliest Catch and the Captains (a long overdue, long post)

If you somehow missed it, Deadliest Catch is one of my favorite things on television in life. It's as close to a "reality show" as I get. (And I maintain that there is a BIG difference between "reality shows" and documentary shows, in that the documentaries are not being done with the promise of any prize or contest-winner and are also ACTUALLY real, as opposed to the scripted "reality" forced on us by the networks.)


The fishermen on the Bering Strait have easily one of the top five most dangerous jobs in the world. (Or at least top five that aren't related to the military in some way.) I don't even try to pretend I could do what they do for five minutes. I'd be too scared to get near the water and too sick to step on the boat. But I love this show, and the personalities on it. (Well...I really can't stand ONE of the personalities, most of the time...but we'll get to that.)

This post happens in two parts from here on out... First part deals with the show this season. Second part deals with the Captains Tour, which I went to see with my dad last week.

Part One: The Show

There's a lot to dig into on a show like this...but in the wake of the death of F/V Cornelia Marie Captain Phil Harris, one of the main things people started tuning in for this year was to see how his sons (now part owners of the boat) and Capt Derrick (his replacement) are getting along. The answer? Not well.

Captain Derrick decided to go after blue crab this season. In the entire run of the show, I'm not sure I've ever seen ANYONE have a strong blue crab season, and it seems like going after them is a fool's gamble and NOT the way to start your first run on a new vessel. The numbers have been laughably bad and disputes between the Captain and the Harris Brothers have been deeply personal and mean. Last week's episode ended with both Harris brothers turning their backs and walking away from Derrick and him thinking they're full of shit crybabies who need to grow up. Looking at the show's Facebook page, it seems like most people are siding with the Harris Brothers. Me? I'm not sure.

Don't get me wrong. Captain Derrick is proving to be a little bit of a jerk. Every other word out of his mouth seems to be "Phil's dead" like the boys need to be reminded of it, and he comes off as a know-it-all who knows everything except where the blue crab are. That last part isn't necessarily his fault, and I agree with his assessment stated in the last show that they shouldn't have given up on the hunt after only 8 days...but the guy could have been a little bit softer with the crew coming in.

However, he's in a no-win situation. He's not going to be loved as much as Phil by the audience or the crew, and he knows it. He knew it from the moment Steve (the engineer, and a little bit of a dickbag) came onto the boat screaming at him and pushing his way past him (after being 2 hours late, no less). Even if he were the nicest guy in the world and he were hitting on GOLDEN numbers, he still wouldn't be Phil. He's still be the crew's re-bound Captain and he'd be gone in a season (or perhaps less, as last night's episode would seem to indicate).

And it's not like the Harris Boys are the Golden Gods of Crab Fishing. Neither of them is fit to be a Captain. They're both great deckhands, and I like both guys (I'm even coming around on Jake), but they're short-tempered and they don't even know the boat very well. At the Captains Tour show I went to, Sig even pointed that out to the audience. He noted that even the best deckhand, if he doesn't know the engine room, can't ever be a Captain and shouldn't think he knows much about how to run a boat, and he noted that they boys to NO fault of their own, just never were shown the engine room. Yet they come into the wheel-house (a MAJOR trespass on any other boat) and constantly have screaming matches with the Captain of the boat. Maybe that's why deckhands shouldn't be owners...I don't know... It seemed like even Freddy (sp?), a long time Cornelia Marie deckhand and close friend to Phil, was trying to settle the boys down only to be told that they have pretty much already made their decisions. It's just not a good situation working for them, but also trying to be their boss.

So there are a couple of sides to that story...and in the end, I guess it boils down to the fact that I LIKE the boys better, but I think they're too dismissive of Captain Derrick's years in the wheelhouse.

Hey...at least he's not as big a dick as Captain Keith, right?

Keith is my least favorite Captain on the show. He screams at people for no reason and wants respect while showing little to anyone else. His practices on the ocean are questionable, or even sleazy sometimes. We've seen on the show that he frequently sets his strings very close (sometimes right NEXT) to the strings of fellow Captains. He's tried to steal deckhands from other crews. He accuses other members of the fleet of nepotism, yet employs his own brother (on boat) and wife (off-boat). (Not to mention that he doesn't take into consideration that though the Hillstrand Brothers are the sons of a crab fisherman, they also did not speak to their father for a decade, had to pay for the boat themselves, and risk their lives just as often as he does.) He's just generally not my type of guy.

...but he's slowly growing on me.

I'm starting to wonder if maybe the death of Phil Harris did something to Keith. When Phil died, he and Keith were not the best of friends. Keith was the only one of the main Captains shown on screen visibly and audibly in tears over Phil's death. He followed it by dumping a FULL crab pot (the pot itself being probably a $1000 cost, and the crab inside worth more than that) over the side in Phil's memory and letting it sink to the bottom so that Phil would "always have a full one to come home to." And this year he's been somehow more human than in previous seasons.

In the last episode, we saw Keith wake up crew member Lynn, who had fallen asleep in the Captain's chair while steering the boat as the rest of the crew slept. I was expecting a MAJOR explosion from Keith, but he mostly just told Lynn to go to bed then calmly explained to the cameraman how bad that could have been. Later in the episode Lynn came into the wheelhouse to apologize (and it was evident that this was not just a move to protect his career, but that he really felt horrible about putting LIVES at risk). I again expected Keith the berate and humiliate the guy...but he was almost encouraging. I may eat my words on this, but it seems like Keith is trying to become a better person...maybe he doesn't want anyone else to die without knowing he made the effort to be good to them. I don't know... It pisses me off a little bit that I'm cooling off about him...but he's become not only tolerable, but almost--shudder--likable this year.

Keith's main rivals on the ocean (in word and deed) have been The Hillstrands, co-captains of the F/V Time Bandit. I like the Hillstrands a lot, and that's probably for the best because if you don't, there's at least a small chance that they might shoot you. (Seriously...they carry AK-47s on board.) They haven't been as present on the show this season, but when they have been, it's been fun. Whether shooting at a "cursed" buoy (seriously) or mocking one another for their low numbers (which turned around in the last episode or two), they show the signs of two guys who like working together, like working with their crew, and like their job. And that's about as much as I have to say about them in this section.

The show has two new boats in The Seabrooke and The Ramblin' Rose this year. (The Ramblin Rose is BRAND new--entirely new, unseasoned crew and Captain.) So far, I think the guy on the Rose tries too hard, but means well...and I like the Seabrooke a lot, except I think the old guy on the boat's a dick and needs to take it easy on the younger crowd. He could try helping them become better rather than just telling them that they're terrible.

We've seen a lot less of Wild Bill and Sig this year than I'd like--though both have had explosive, fascinating moments on the last two shows, so I shouldn't complain...and I've seen a lot of Sig elsewhere lately...so let's just move on and talk about...

Part Two: The Captains

I heard (via Facebook) that the Captains Tour featuring the Hillstrand Brothers and Sig Hansen was coming to St. Louis and thought, "That'd be fun...but I don't think I'll make it..." I mentioned it to my dad (also a fan of the show) and he thought it sounded like fun too. So the short version is he wanted to go and I wanted to go, so we went.

The show was a lot of fun. They sat in chairs being interviewed by one of the guys from a St. Louis bullshit country radio station. (We don't have a GOOD country station in St. Louis.) The venue didn't allow you to bring drinks into the room unless you were one of the people who paid for the $100+ tickets--which is BULLSHIT since they have a full bar in the lobby right outside of the entry doors...but otherwise, it was a nice venue for the show and it was pretty damn close to full.

The Captains were incredibly entertaining, despite Captain Johnathan being very obviously sick. At one point, he even took some cold medicine while on stage...and I think it made him a little delirious. Toward the end of the night, he stopped caring what questions he was being asked and just started telling whatever story he wanted to, and never mind if anyone knew what he was talking about! It was pretty funny, but I also felt bad for the guy. Sucks to have to perform when you're sick...but it's probably better than crab fishing while you're sick, I guess.

One of my (and everyone else's) favorite parts of the night was that we got a sneak preview of Captain Sig's big-screen premier as the F/V "Crabby" in the upcoming "Cars 2." I have absolutely no desire to see this movie...so I'm glad they showed Sig's scene. I've now seen the only part of the movie worth seeing. :)

...but if they make this into a toy, I have to buy it:



The show followed a basic question and answer format for a lot of it. There was lots of Keith bashing (seems like NO ONE likes that guy!) They discussed everyone's favorite curse word, including a very hilarious, yet difficult to recount in text story from Sig about using a semi-offensive-to-gay-guys word all season long, only to find out that the cameraman who'd been filming him all year is gay. There were plenty of stories about the guys' most dangerous moments at sea, and some footage to go with it of Rogue Waves. (Rogues are basically waves that come out of nowhere and blindside you...and they tend to be about 100+ feet tall.) The largest any of them reported seeing was about a 120 foot wave. By way of comparison the Statue of Liberty (minus base/pedestal) is 151 feet tall...and usually it's not rushing at you at 10-knots.

There was a touching moment when Andy (Hillstrand) plugged in his guitar and played a song he wrote in tribute to Phil Harris. The other guys left the stage with Sig commenting, "I don't like to watch this part." It was a nice little moment, and I'm glad I heard his acoustic version before I listened to the full track online. It was better coming from just Andy.

...and of course, I bought the obligatory t-shirt, which I'll hopefully post a picture of sometime...but I don't have one on file and it's too wrinkled from being cast into the laundry bin to take one now.

So the Captains Tour is a good time...and everyone should go see it if it comes to your town.

And I'm going to stop now. This is a really long post, and God bless you if you're still reading! In summary, if you're not already watching Deadliest Catch, you really should. It's one of the best hours on television.

Up next: A review of Doctor Who...but that'll take me a couple of days, probably. :)

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